im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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