I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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