my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
