so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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