Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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