her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
time to smoke my breakfast
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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