I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
