i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
