my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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