You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize