yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
