I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
