I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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