theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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