So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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