oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
my shit smells like andre
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
