I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I would fuck him just for his dog
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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