yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
