They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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