Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
