I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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