so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
