Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
