Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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