New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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