i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
