CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Let's get the cat blown out
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
