I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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