my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
