Well douche your snatch and let's go!
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
