How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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