need another drink. this is the easiest way
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
