i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
