yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
