I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize