just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
