Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Randomize
