butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
