He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
