So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
