If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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