I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
