After last night, I could never be a politician.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
