Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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