omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
