What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
