So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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