ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize