All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
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