Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
