i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
