dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
