the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
