Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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