1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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