a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
