Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
