I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
