no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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