so that wasnt chicken after all
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
