YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize