I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
