Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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