Moan for me like Helen Keller
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
