he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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