So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize