just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
