My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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