dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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