I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
