Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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