I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
