Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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