my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
